To a large degree, the atmosphere we establish will determine how effective our talk is going to be. Atmosphere is created by both our verbal and nonverbal messages.
I hear a lot of speakers who are pretty sloppy in their opening comments. Perhaps it's because they haven't thought about it, but the mood they create right from the start makes it tough to benefit from the rest of the speech.
Most of us know you don't want to start on a negative note. "I hope you all will excuse my voice this morning. I've had a cold all week."
Or "I really appreciate you all coming on a miserable, rainy day like today." Even, "Folks, we just are not getting enough people. When I stand up here and look out at this crowd…"
What kind of impression do these introductions make on the listeners? Probably not a good one. You're not starting from their need; you're starting from your need. And that's not the way to fill people with anticipation for what you have to give.
This is why I enjoy starting with something like, "This has been a wonderful week" — people want to know why it's been wonderful. They've had a lousy week. But there are very few weeks for which you can't think up some way it has been good --- "I haven't been sued a single time this week." And people laugh.
Or, "I haven't had an automobile accident this week, not even a scratch." Little things like that. And then you can say, "No, really, it's been a fine week. I talked to some friends on the phone and I was just reminded of the marvelous gift of friendship."
This builds a friendly atmosphere. It conveys a feeling anybody can identify with.
People may say to themselves, "Yes, I talked to some friends this week, too. And sometimes I forget how good that is."
That's one way to help establish a warm, friendly atmosphere. There are other ways, but the important thing is to avoid opening negatively or from your own self-interest or your own insecurity. I want to communicate openness - that I'm here to serve these people.
This setting of the atmosphere, of course, begins before I ever speak my first word. We can show warmth by our demeanor on the platform. I try to pick out certain people and smile at them. This not only affirms those few people but it shows the whole audience that I'm truly glad to be there. Recently someone asked our daughter what she thinks about when she begins a speech. She quickly answered, The Four F's: Find a Friendly Face Fast! She wants to connect. You see, people need to know how you feel before you start to speak. They want to know whether you're friendly or worried or mad.
For me, the most difficult of all disciplines in speaking is going into the talk with the proper attitude. If I do not want to speak, it is so difficult for me to speak well. Attitude control is essential. I must go up there with a friendly attitude, with a genuine desire to help the audience, to give them something they'll find beneficial. One of the ways to let them know that, and one of the ways to help my own attitude, is while waiting to speak, instead of praying conspicuously, just looking at individuals in the audience and smiling.
It also helps to notice how people are sitting and to gauge the emotional climate of the audience. This affects how you need to come across. What does this mean? Think of the way that people sit in the room. When people are scattered in a sparsely populated auditorium they feel exposed. They can't hide. In a jammed room, people think they're hidden, anonymous, and therefore as you speak, you can detect a more open response. In the smaller environment I have to be more personal, speaking as if we were standing face to face in conversation.
Whether you're a rookie speaker or a seasoned veteran it is important to begin by establishing a friendly atmosphere.
