Ask Fred > Family > Husband is unfaithful - should I stay?

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Dear Fred

I was wondering what you thought of my marriage situation. I have been married for 19 years, found 5years ago that my husband is a sexual addict. He has been unfaithful and he was again a year ago giving me a temporary infection. We are now separated for a month since his sponsor in the 12 step program told me he is not getting recovery. I really do not want to go back to this marriage. He lies is sneaky and thinks its a communication issue. He is going to marriage reconciliation at church and thinks he is going to bring the issues he finds to marriage counseling in a few months. He won't go to individual therapy for his addiction. I am so tired but I have 2kids and he is a pretty good Dad.Any thoughts?

Fred's Response

The only thing that I see that recommends him is that he is a “pretty good Dad” to children who need a father. However, I believe his character failure disqualifies him for the marriage. Does he pay any meaningful attention to the children or does he just entertain them? I would suggest you not interfere with his relationship to the children so long as it is helpful to them. I would not in any way encourage you to keep suffering through his behavior. I certainly believe you have scriptural reason for divorce. Hopefully, you will be able to work out a good support system. He needs to financially support your children and I would legally contend for maximum support for you and the children.