Weekly Thought > Personal Growth > Interested, Not Curious
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Interested, Not Curious
Sharing is built on confidence by friends who have a deep, sincere interest in each other. Note that I said "interest", not "curiosity." I'm turned off by people who are curious about me, but I'm irresistibly drawn to the person who is interested in me and accepts me for who and what I am. So often we confuse interest in people with curiosity about people. But there's a vast difference between the two!
Interest has a positive, helpful, outgoing implication, while curiosity is self-centered. Seeing and hearing about a person can scratch the curiosity itch, but interest requires an affirmative effort with a desire for the good of the other person.
Now, there's a heavy streak of curiosity in all of us, but it is a trait that must be bridled in the tender atmosphere of friendship. No subtlety or cleverness can conceal curiosity for it reveals itself in the type of questions asked. For example, if a person asks an executive curious questions about his business, the fences will go up and no true relationship can exist. Confidence is impaired because questions asked out of curiosity are blatant revealers of selfish motives.
Without a climate where confidences can be shared, there can be no genuine friendship. It is vital that friends be able to trust one another implicitly, and the very desire or willingness to be known and to know the other person is an integral part of friendship.
Authentic friendship demands the willingness to have a question go unanswered --- or possibly even unasked.
This week think if you find yourself substituting curiosity for interest. How can you create an interest in others while bridling the desire to be curious?
