Our heavenly father is permanent. Once we are in the relationship it is a permanent one. We are bonded. Remember at Jesus' baptism God said, "this is my Son whom I love; with him I am well pleased." It was a fixed relationship. What a wonderful feeling to know that we have a permanent relationship with God the father. The scripture says "no one can take them out of my hand." and "He will never leave you nor forsake you." He is a forever parent. We don't have to keep winning his acceptance. The relationship is based only on the reality and the fact of the relationship; it is not conditional nor contingent. Many fathers simply cannot accept this perfect bonding of unconditional acceptance in their own lives and consequently cannot model it for their children.
In 1993 we had our 56th wedding anniversary and stopped in Austin to have lunch with Browning Ware who told us about a lady he had been counseling for over twenty years. She was still struggling with the fact that she could never please her father, even though he is now dead. She told him about working to win his acceptance by excellent performance. She gave the example of bringing home a report card with all "A"s on it expecting high praise. But he took it, looked at it and said, "Don't they give any A-pluses down there?" She was crushed. Our acceptance with God is not based on our accomplishment. We are complimented for our accomplishment but our acceptance is based strictly on His love.
This assurance of permanence is expressed no better than by Paul, "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." When our daughter Brenda went to college, she inserted "Denison University" into the list recognizing that even that environment wouldn't be strong enough to shake the permanent nature of God's hold.
Maturity brings us into this perfect and permanent relationship with God the father just as maturity brings us into that kind of relationship with our human fathers. Remember Christ said, "I no longer call you servants but I call you friends because I tell you all that I do." There is an intimacy in the perfect relationship. But I have found that intimacy cannot be planned. It cannot be a task assigned an A priority in our Daytimers. Intimate conversation has to come about naturally, and all we can do is give it the opportunity and the honesty and openness to appreciate it when it does come. Confidence in the permanence of the relationship, whether spiritual or human creates a platform for intimacy, though. When we are secure in the enduring quality we have the freedom to open up. God's everlasting love for us teaches us the way to open the way to intimacy with our own children.
To me, the perfect human relationship is when we gain mutual respect for each other… when we become each other's teacher and mentor. I now recognize that my children are able to teach me just as much as I'm able to teach them, and sometimes more. This lesson is taught through shared lives, trusting experiences and lifelong work. My children occasionally thank me for the lessons that I have learned in parenting. They comment that I have done a fair job of "re-parenting." As God parents me and I understand the patterns and principles I can apply them to the human relationships. Thankfully, He does a more consistent job than I do because I always have a permanent and perfect model to follow.
