Ask Fred > Family > How do I restore my marriage?
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Dear Fred
After 21 years of marriage, and 2 teenage daughters, my wife has told me that she is not in love with me. We have a amiable relationship, but distant. We do not fight at all. I've been dealing with this for 1.5 years now, and I am getting tired. Advise?
Fred's Response
Could it be that she is responding to your apathy – which is the opposite of love? You are in a dangerous period in which divorces often occur. I like C.S. Lewis’ definition of love: “Willing the best for the other person.†It is not just an emotion but a decision. Remember, we are told in scripture that husbands should love their wives. Sometimes we start thinking about our good feelings more than being lovable. You are obviously going through a valley but be true to your responsibility until you come out. By responding positively to her you may influence her love for you and bring her to appreciate you.
