The discipline of recognition - you might think it's a strange combination of words. Some people don't distinguish between recognition and notoriety.
You've heard it said, "I don't care what they say about me as long as they spell my name right." This is a rather cheap view of recognition.
Recognition is important. It's one of our motivations. It's one of our satisfactions. When you think about what recognitions you've genuinely appreciated, you understand something about yourself.
Do we expect our recognitions to mature as we mature? What was recognition at one time in our life might be very incidental or even embarrassing today. There is a danger in creating an image for ourselves. It is restrictive and in many ways it becomes phony.
The great advertising genius, Albert Lasker, said to beware of any man whom everyone described the same way for he is an image, not a reality. The scripture says, "Beware of those of whom all men speak well."
We discipline what we consider good strokes. They're important. The apostle Paul used a great many of them, for he was one of the great recognizers of the saints. He was forever complimenting somebody on their hospitality, on their helpfulness, cooperation, their good teaching, and saying, "honor such a man."
In corporate life as well as social life it's very important to know how to get favorable recognition. One of the saddest dinners I have been to was a retirement dinner for a middle executive of a corporation who had not been discovered early enough in his life to make the top. The president said, "Too bad we didn't see his qualifications earlier." We all know it's our own responsibility to be favorably seen but we have to define what we consider to be favorable and what we consider to be acceptable.
As an exercise in thinking of the discipline of recognition, what three words do you think people would use to describe you? Would you describe yourself the same way, or would you be happy with the words they use? Some people only see others as fun.
Herb Shreiner one night after a performance said to me, "I wish I could say something, not just be funny." There was a depth to him that he never got to show.
Many of you knew Gert Behanna , the gal who was raised in the old Waldorf Astoria, who became a hopeless drunk and doper. But thankfully with God people are never hopeless and so late in life she became a very vibrant Christian. She used to tell how that she would go out with her beautiful mother and the contrast between her mother's beauty and her homeliness was rather striking. It was a challenge to say something good about Gert so they would say, "I am sure she's wholesome." Gert would regale anyone with her disdain for the word "wholesome"
I have known men that as long as you called them moneymakers they didn't care anything else about what you called them. You could say, "He's mean and dirty, but he's a moneymaker," and he would smile.
So many want to be called successful but they're not willing to discipline the success, just so long as it is success. I have known people who liked to be called religious but very few who wanted to be called Christian. Religious doesn't get you into problems; "Christian" does.
Some like to be well-dressed, others are friendly, real, selfish, intelligent, powerful. Today we are hearing "air head" and it might be a fair description of some people though it is not exactly complimentary. Some are called hypocrites, others responsible, some are flighty, some are dependable.
What is the trend of the recognition? Are people using different words about you? Instead of saying smart, are they beginning to say you are wise? Instead of being a good friend, they are saying you are a loyal friend, showing that you have been tested. Are you helpful, trustworthy, stable, mature, humble, and even generous?
One final aspect of disciplining recognition is to develop a system of giving recognition. A concert performer listened to a woman bubble over with enthusiasm, "Oh, you are such a good singer." His response was surprising ---- "what does she know about singing? All she knows is that she enjoyed it. I don't accept her judgment." What he was saying was that the person who has mastered the art of giving recognition knows that the receiver must find it acceptable recognition.
I have found that three things are particularly helpful in developing effective recognition: be specific, be meaningful and be helpful. I spend time thinking of comments that will be intentionally suited to the individual and not nets of praise that are widely thrown.
The discipline of recognition allows us to mature in the role that recognition plays in our lives. We learn to accept true praise, withdraw from false compliments and realistically assess what motivates our highest achievements.
