Handling Depression

Do you find yourself telling people that you are “just fine” when you aren’t? Fred Smith directs our thinking to active w

By Fred Smith

Very few of us totally escape depression. For some, it is the blues; for others, the blahs. Others wander aimlessly, suffering boredom, while some sleep excessively, which becomes suicide on the installment plan.

In depression we may get moody and generally unhappy, or even want to strike out at someone we love or do ourselves harm. These are all fruits of the depression tree. If the problem gets too large to handle personally, then we need help. But we can do much to help ourselves if we have a routine to follow and just a little willpower.

Denial isn't the answer. Pity those who escape into orbits of faked enthusiasm, screaming how well they feel and how happy they are. One man I know has his mouth on automatic response when anyone asks him how he feels: "Great! If I felt any better I would have to see a doctor!" It is unfortunate when anyone creates such a façade about himself that he cannot admit his feelings without losing his self-image. Faking feelings is a failing that usually leads to failure.

It is so much better when we respect others' concern for their fellow man enough to say honestly, "Things are so-so right now, but I have felt this way before and I'll get over it. I am on the mend." Then go about the normal relationship. We know others are not deeply interested in our most intimate ups and downs or want long discourses on the variations in our feelings. However, most do care and understand enough to let us be honest if we are brief. They also know from our response how they can respond in normal situations.

Mild depressions come from time to time and therefore, we need a procedure for handling them. First, get busy physically ---doing something is better than doing nothing. Often it is better to do something physical in which we can see immediate results. The accomplishment helps us lift the weight of depression. The activity opens the door for hope. While it's tough to find someone to play tennis at 3:00 AM, or it's discourteous to run the power saw, there are all-night restaurants where you can watch fascinating night people. Occasionally when I am down I "make the scene" as we said in the 80's among these different and interesting folks who help me wipe away the night sweats.

The secret is to act immediately before the desire to be miserable sets in too strong, even making it look sensible. Beware when we start building a case for deserved sympathy. I don't know why we like to be miserable at times, but I am convinced that we do. Maybe we just want a change in our routine or we think like the guy who kept hitting himself because it felt so good when he stopped. I once knew a writer who made himself completely miserable before starting to write. Misery turned on his creative juices. Some artists feel most creative when they suffer.

Personally, I have found it impossible to meditate myself out of depression. When I can't do something physical, then reading is my next best bet. However, remember, inactivity makes us more self-oriented and introspective ---- which is exactly what we don't need. My suggestion: Get Busy.