God the father is permissive. I don't mean that in the negative sense of the word but in the sense that He is a God who allows and permits. We are much more permissive with a child than with a servant because we have a different purpose. Our basic purpose with a servant is productivity but with a child it is growth and maturity. We give an employee a job description but we work with a child to develop a life direction.
We release the child much more than the servant. When I found out that one of our grandsons had decided to go to Nashville and see how he could find a place in the communications field, I questioned the decision, but I acknowledged his freedom. I doubt that I would have given an employee the same freedom. As you who have known me some time know, I believe that as sons of God we do not have a definite plan for our life given by God but that we have a purpose--- our growth and maturity. I don't believe it can be accomplished by a detailed plan. We give a son much freer choice and freedom of will. We hold the reins loosely and give them "their head."
However, it is important that we understand the reason for our permissiveness. Our permissiveness is for the child's good, not for our comfort or irresponsibility. Our permissiveness cannot serve our convenience or our ego without hurting the child. Mary Alice and I were recently in the home of a professional couple who didn't watch television during the week. We were very impressed by the maturity of the children. That required discipline, and so there is a delicate balance between permissiveness and discipline, but the object is growth and maturity.
With a son or child, we give the freedom to make mistakes. For example, the prodigal son was given his share and permitted to go make his own mistakes. However, when we give them the freedom to make mistakes, we cannot give them the freedom from the consequences of their mistakes. This is one of the destructive things I find among affluent parents. There is a phrase currently making the circuit, "Affluenza." It speaks to the results of living in a society of privilege, leisure and little or no consequences. We need to be clear here. The prodigal son lost his inheritance. Even though he was welcomed back and given a feast, he was not recapitalized! Esau was never given his birthright which he bargained away so cheaply even though it says he sought it with tears. Moses never got to go to the promised land because he could not escape the consequences of his disobedience.
If there's any one thing I would like to teach our children it is the law of cause and effect in life. We all remember the old saw of the young man asking the older man who was renowned for his good judgment, "Where did you get your good judgment?" He replied, "From experience." When asked , "Where did you get your experience," he said, "Poor judgment." I almost apologize for using anything that old! Thank you for laughing.
But the truth is — he learned from his mistakes because nobody disconnected the action and the reaction. When we take away the consequences, we take away the opportunity to learn the principle of cause and effect.
Paul, the apostle, is an excellent coach on permission when he says, "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." As a parent, God teaches us that there are consequences to decisions and freedom comes with responsibility. Growth and maturity teach our sons and daughters the difference between permissible and beneficial. We are moved to a constructive place by a God who is lovingly permissive.
