Peers come in groups. Seldom are they chosen individually. We move into a certain neighborhood. We go to work at a company where our associates come with the job, picked for us. When we join a church, a social or political group, we acquire peers, not by selection but by association.
Few of us escape peer pressure. Adults talk about its effect on young people but I find it everywhere. It never lets up—it simply takes a different form and uses a different rationalization with adults.
The evidences of peer pressure to be "in" dominate our clothing styles. Even though we don't know who sets the standards, we know that our peers will hold us to the style. will One young lady said she thought there was a monitor for designer labels in fashionable neighborhoods which set off an alarm when anybody came through the door without the right designer label on… the "fashion police."
There are the invitations that tell us if we are "in" or "out." The only thing some hate worse than cocktail parties is being left off the invitation list. Invitations of various sorts and functions define this inclusiveness in the group.
We have fads in sports, like tennis or golf. When tennis became the fad, people spent money on equipment arid clothes to look like tennis players. They chased the ball after every hit, but they looked like "in" chasers.
Reading, for example, is also an evidence of being "in." The best seller list is accepted, even expected, conversation—it proves you read the right books. Entertainment serves much the same purpose, with the young people having to go to the rock concerts and moneyed people to the opera whether they like it or not. People want to see and be seen. It is the currency of acceptance.
Given that I will have a peer group and that there will be pressure, what are my responsibilities to my peers?
First, to be an individualist.. Very few would admit that they were conformists because to be a nonconformist is part of the current philosophy. "Being me" seems to be defined as a maverick or a revolutionist, but never a conformist.
But actually, a conformist and nonconformist are the same personality types because they are both externally directed. They both form their opinion and behavior from where the "in" line is formed. The nonconformist wants to know where the line is so he won't be in it, just as the conformist wants to know where it is so he will be in it. The value is in being an individualist who has a friendly attitude toward other people and would like to be a part of what they're doing, so long as he doesn't jeopardize his values. He consistently hopes the group is right and will join them enthusiastically, but if they are wrong then he can either remove himself or challenge the cause they are espousing.
Our society today lays such heavy stress on "freedom." Permit me this observation: I would like to be an individualist and hope that most of the time I am, but I cannot accept the "free man" connotation of the individualist. So long as there is responsibility and death, there is no absolute freedom for the individual.
Some think freedom is tied up with money. As soon as you have enough money to tell people where to go you are free. This just isn't so. When you are a prisoner of that attitude, you certainly are not free. Viktor Franki says "ultimate freedom is man's right to choose his attitude." As we accept causality, we accept our right to choose attitude, occupation, relations, knowing full well we may be free to act but not free from the consequences of our act.
Second is to be redemptive at every opportunity. To be transformed is not just a personal thing, it is a starting point for the transformation of those around us, including the environment we create for others. The ultimate in redemptive action is to bring God's power to the people and situations in which we find ourselves. There is a sense in which to be redemptive is simply to replace evil with good, and that can be done religiously or philosophically by men of good manners and morals. Bringing God's power into the situations in which we find ourselves is the true redemption of which the Scripture speaks.
Professor John Goodenough said that when he became a Christian as a professor at MIT, "The most powerful verse in the Bible, to me, is 'Now you have the power to become.'" He said he had always had an ethical sense of right and wrong but had never felt the personal power to accomplish it. This power came with an acceptance of the promise at Pentecost: "You shall have power when the Spirit has come upon you."
Being redemptive carries out the metaphors of the Christian life, such as light and salt. When we are light, we create an environment for sight. Chasing away darkness is not the main function of light, it is to provide an environment in which we can see clearly to encourage others and to lead others in the rightness of life. This is why right loves the light, for light is the environment in which it functions best. As salt, we are a preservative and we bring flavor. As a redemptive individualist I should have a constructive personality with friendliness and humor.
