Ask Fred > Ethics > How do I deal with betrayal?
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Dear Fred
How do you get over having been betrayed by friends? How do you get past the hurt, even if you have forgiven the transgression?
Fred's Response
Have you really forgiven as long as you still hurt? Fenelon reminds us that our aim is to die to self. When we hurt we prove that we are still “alive to self†because dead bodies don’t experience pain. Are you hurt at losing the friendship or at being misjudged? Remember some of the great people of the past have suffered as you are suffering. In the Psalms David cries out about the pain of being betrayed by a friend. Job said he got over his pain when he prayed for his enemies. Sincerely pray for them. The man who influenced me most was betrayed by his son and a small group of executives. In his Bible I saw where he had written, “Pray for those who are lying about me.†I think his greatest spiritual strength came through this period.
