Ask Fred > Family > Is there hope my husband can control his eyes?
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Dear Fred
As a woman, it is very difficult for me to deal with the fact that my husband has to battle with lust for other women. Since I am not visually stimulated by other men, the way that he is visually stimulated by other women, it's hard for me to relate. Intellectually I understand what's going on, but emotionally, it's very hurtful. Is it realistic to hope that one day my husband would be able to direct his sexual urges towards me only?
Fred's Response
You are asking the question that many wives ask. How are you sure he is attracted? Jealousy sometimes may make a wife suspect or a man may brag—acting like this is so. Hopefully he is loyal to his vows for which you can be thankful. If he is unkind enough to make specific remarks then he needs to stop it. If you are only suspicious then you need to give him the benefit of the doubt. It is important to know the difference between a remark of admiration and lust. A wife once said to me, “Where my husband is concerned I keep both the kitchen and the bedroom.†I suggest you have serious, low-heat discussion with him. Tell him what it does to you and how much you need to be able to trust him. Remember when men marry they do not go blind. Chastity is a Christian discipline. Make the effort to be as attractive to him now as when you were dating.
