Ask Fred > Family > How do I deal with problems that my daughter is undergoing with her husband?
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Dear Fred
How do I as a Christian deal with problems that my daughter is undergoing with her husband. As her father and his father in-law what are my boundaries, How involved do I get? It is difficult to watch from a distance and see her suffer. There are small children involved and he does not seem to understand his responsibility. And he won't listen to reason. At this point I am just praying but not much has changed.
Fred's Response
I have had personal experience with this problem. I had to remember that the scripture teaches that when a girl marries she leaves my responsibility and becomes a partner with her husband. Try to gain his respect so that he will listen to you. When he asks for advice, be prepared to give it, but don't offer it. You certainly don't want to put your daughter in a competing situation between you and her husband. I have found that my relationship with our adult children is as a wisdom figure, not a power figure. I must wait until they ask my advice, not volunteer it. This does not decrease my love, but defines my responsibility. There are times when you will agonize wanting so much to see your opinion of right carried out. But you must not violate their marriage unless she is in danger.
