One of our top salesmen became an alcoholic. We worked to scrape him off the bottom and get him sober and on top again. As he and I walked into a sales meeting, he lingered a moment and said, "This help I'm getting is going to keep me from drinking, isn't it?" The negative tone in "isn't it" signaled that he was losing confidence, that we had better get together with him quickly or he would be back on the booze.
In latent listening, we try to learn why the person says what he says and why he says it at a particular time and in a particular way. Manifest and latent listening overlap; actually we are hearing both the " what" and the " why" at the same time. They cannot be cleanly separated. The emotions greatly influence the tone, pace, and rhythm of speech, as well as the selection of words. The choice of words discloses several things, including a person's reasoning ability, his prejudices in the use of pejorative words, and his attempt to impress in the inappropriate use of large words.
I have found that individuals with precise minds use precise language. Often, sensitive people use poetic words. Again, it is possible to get a lead on whether people think in principles or techniques by the words they use and the breadth. They may illustrate from many different areas because they see a similar principle running through different experiences. They see the thread and describe it in a variety of circumstances. The tone of words is generally set by the emotion. If the tone is judgmental, I generally suspect self-righteousness or cynicism. A negative tone generally denotes a negative feeling about the subject. Whining is always minor-key and cheerleading major-key.
Emotion affects the pace at which a person speaks. Generally an excited person speaks quicker, and the pitch is higher. One night I was visiting with a psychiatrist friend in a social situation, and he asked me about an economic principle that I knew only vaguely. I knew he didn't know anything about it, so I waded in with great authority. When I finished, he said, "You know very little about the subject." I confessed and asked him how he knew. He said, "Because your pace and tone changed, telling me that you were on shaky ground."
Excessive language is always questionable and generally is born of a desire to impress, intimidate, or ingratiate. Talking too loud can be an attempt to control. Those who control their voice also raise a question about why. For example, on a witness stand you often see people try to control their voice. Is that because they're right or because they're afraid of being found out? An interesting conversationalist or speaker has an interesting rhythm about his speech. A boring person has a sonorous tone.
Rhythm can indicate personal involvement with the subject. Sometimes rhythm connotes performance rather than mere communication. Interpreting laughter among associates is instructive. Where the relationship is open and free, so is the laughter. If language is merely polite, derisive, or carries innuendo, there is discord.
Sometimes it's important to interpret interruptions, which may signal everything from being discourteous to being respectful. We normally think a person interrupting us is indicating that what he wants to say is more important than what is being said. On the other hand, it could be a subtle attempt to change the subject to protect someone or to add a different line of thought to the original one. Occasionally it just shows enthusiastic agreement that can't be withheld. Interruptions in a group often mean the person is trying to take control—expressing power and rank, like a general interrupting a colonel. Often these try to hold the conversation or guide it by difficult questions or confrontation.
Some feel they are ordained talkers. One Sunday afternoon I was in the park in Los Angel es where the haranguers go to harangue. I fell in with a group listening to a man proclaiming his beliefs in loud, continuous talk. Walking around the edge of the group was a man muttering to himself, and I fell in behind him hoping to hear what he was saying. It was: "Hell, I came here to talk. I didn't come here to listen."
As leaders we must concentrate on these two types of listening: (1) manifest—we attempt to understand both the dictionary and colloquial definition of words, and (2) latent—we try to understand why the person said what he said, to know his emotional involvement and to get beneath the surface to recognize the "what" and the "why."
Latent Listening
By Fred Smith
