Weekly Thought > Friendships > Responsibilities to Our Peers

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Responsibilities to Our Peers

In Fred’s book, You and Your Network, he writes about the role of peers in our lives. He mentions two responsibilities we have to our peers.

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1. Be an individualist.

Oftentimes when I am lecturing to college students, I toy with them a bit by asking all those who feel they are non-conformists to hold up their hands. Without fail, nearly 95% of the audience raises their hands. I always laugh, if only to myself. .

Actually, a conformist and non-conformist are the same personality types because they are both outer directed. They both form their opinion and behavior by finding out where the "in" line forms. The non-conformist wants to know where the line is, so he won’t be in it, just as the conformist wants to know where the line is to make sure he is first in the queue. They are just two sides of the same personality..

The value of being an individualist is having a friendly attitude, being part of what is going on, while not jeopardizing their values. He hopes the peer group is right and joins them enthusiastically, but removes himself if they are wrong. He takes the responsibility of challenging the peer group..

2. Be redemptive.

When I have the opportunity, my responsibility is to be redemptive. Transformation isn’t just a personal process designed for me alone; it is a process I participate in for the benefit of my peer group. I am responsible for creating an atmosphere of redemption. The ultimate is bringing God’s power to the people and situations in which we find ourselves. I define redemption as simply replacing evil with good wherever we are. .

Being redemptive is played out in the biblical analogies of salt and light. We create an environment for sight. Chasing away darkness is not the function of light; it is to provide an atmosphere for clear sight. When we are salt, we are a preservative -- we preserve the rightness of life. We also bring a constructive attitude to our peer group..

Redemption requires discipline. I do not pray for miracles, but rather a willingness to join God in His process or working out matters. Prayer is not for me to change God, but for me to conform to Him. Biblical principles discipline our thinking and our contribution to our peer group. I believe there is a genuine gift in delineating the principles in order to face the day-to-day situations with discernment..

Think this week about: 1) How can I be redemptive within my peer group? 2) Do I fit in or do I stand out among my peers? 3) What value do I bring to my peer group?.

Words of Wisdom: ✐eer pressure can be either a threat to conform us or our challenge to transform us. Either way, our peers are a formidable part of our human network.

Wisdom from the Word: "Iron sharpens iron, so a person sharpens his friend." Proverbs 27:17 (NET Bible)